Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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