I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just had sex on a roof
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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