he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize