Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
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Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
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What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize