Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
