Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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