fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize