The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
