Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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