Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
