youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
this is jacob
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP