Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
