i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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