then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
