just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
