it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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