We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
