its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Randomize
