i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
