Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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