Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
