the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Dick very happy bro
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
