I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
