I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
