i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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