Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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