My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
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we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
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He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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