p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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