I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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