Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
