he shaved USA in his pubs
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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