Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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