Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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