Its about making memories worth repressing
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
