You can't motorboat a personality
im six kinds of drunk right now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
