Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize