Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
