I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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