Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Boobs are out for the taking
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
