He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
