Pants 0. Shit 1.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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