I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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