so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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