People in love make me want to vomit
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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