And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
