I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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