you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
