By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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