Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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