I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
did i walk over a car last night?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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