wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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