I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
