the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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