he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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