Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
