ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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