he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
