I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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