somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
